What the Hijab Means to Me

I started wearing hijab (accepted term for modesty and covering the body except for the face and hands) in 7th grade and not because I wanted to, but because I started menstruating two weeks before school started and had no choice. I was the only practicing Muslim in my middle school and, in my 12 year old mind wearing a khimar (Arabic term for headscarf) would be the hardest thing on earth. When I started covering my hair, classmates would ask me, “Why you gotta wear that thing on your head?” I would sheepishly reply, “I dunno.” Thankfully, in time, I discovered it was not the hardest thing on earth, rather a beautiful act of worship that defined me as part of a world community and set me apart from my peers.

In the fifteen years since I began wearing hijab, the question why I cover my hair is the most popular. The answer is simple – Muslim women cover because Allah (Arabic term for God) commands them to. Allah says in the Qur’an:

“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies. That will be better, that they should be known so as not to be annoyed.” - Surah 33, verse 59

“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands…” - Surah 24, verse 31

We learn more about the details of hijab from hadith, which are the compiled stories of the life of the Prophet Muhammad (May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)

For me, wearing hijab everyday is like putting on a uniform. The hijab is a physical representation of my beliefs. Often times, non-Muslims will give me the Islamic greeting, waiters and waitresses will tell me what dishes contain pork and strangers will apologize for distasteful language used in my presence. More importantly, the hijab constantly reminds me that my behavior should not contradict my beliefs. I sometimes find myself thinking, “What do people think when they see dressed in hijab and behaving this way?”

In Islam, we refer to men and women as “brother” and “sister”. This reference reinforces a strong familial bond that connects the hearts of Muslims worldwide. In fact, the Prophet Muhammad (May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is reported to have said, “None of you will have faith, until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” One of the most rewarding experiences of wearing hijab is recognizing Muslim women in public and feeling specially connected to them because of Islam. Recently, my friends and I were at an event in Chapel Hill looking for a place to pray. While on our hunt, we ran into two other Muslim women also looking for a secluded spot. Although we did not know each other, we introduced ourselves and continued on our quest, increasing our prayer line and marveling at the magnificence of our religion.

Two years after starting to cover my hair I was no longer sheepish in my reply as to why I had to wear that “thing”. I realized how special I was to be a Muslim and loved that people were able to immediately recognize me as such. Also, having khimars that matched my outfits helped out a lot too! Observing the command to wear hijab is one small way I joyfully and willingly promote the greatest influence in my life – Islam.

On not Complaining

Here is a piece of advice from one of our venerated shaikhs:

Let me give you a piece of advice: Never complain to anyone about your luck, whether he be friend or foe, and do not accuse the Lord (Almighty and Glorious is He) for treating you badly and making you suffer misfortune. You should rather proclaim your blessings and your gratitude.

And if you count the favor of Allah, you will never add it up. (16:18)

How many blessings do you enjoy without acknowledging them for what they are! Do not settle for any mere creature as your confidant and intimate companion, and tell no one about your problems. It is rather with Allah (Almighty and Glorious is He) that you should be on intimate and confidential terms, and any complaining you do should be about Him and addressed to Him. Recognize no other party, for none has any power to bring you loss or gain, income or expenditure, honor or disgrace, promotion or demotion, poverty or affluence.

All things are the creation of Allah. They lie in the hand of Allah and the way they function is at His command and by His leave. Each runs its course until a time appointed, and everything is regulated by Him. There is no advancing what He has postponed and no putting back what He has brought to the fore. Allah (Almighty and Glorious is He) has said:

If Allah afflicts you with some hurt, none can remove it but He; and if He desires any good for you, none can repel His bounty. He causes it to reach whomsoever He wills of His servants. He is the All-Forgiving, the All-Compassionate (10:107)

If you complain about Him while you are in good health and already enjoying some blessing, just wanting to get more and shutting your eyes contemptuously to the benefit and well-being you have received from Him, He will be angry with you and deprive you of both. He will give you something real to complain about, doubling your trouble, intensifying the chastisement and detestation and loathing you must suffer, and casting you down out of His sight.

You should be very wary of complaining, even if you were being dissected and having your own flesh clipped away with scissors. Beware, beware and yet again beware! Allah, Allah, and yet again Allah! Escape, escape! Take care, take care!

Most of the various disasters that afflict a human being are due to his complaints against his Lord (Almighty and Glorious is He). How can one have any grievance against Him, when His is the Most Merciful of the merciful, the Best of all judges, Wise, Aware, Gracious, Compassionate; when he is Kind to His servants and not a cruel slave-master; when He is like a wise, sympathetic and kindly family doctor?

Would you find fault with a tender-hearted mother? The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Allah is more merciful toward His servant than a mother toward her child.”

Be on your best behaviour! Persevere in the face of misfortune, even if you are incapable of patience. Then be patient even if your are incapable of conforming with good grace. Keep your tongue from complaining. Provided you do this, then if what is meant for you is good, the Lord will grant you extra pleasure, happiness and joy; and if it is bad, He will keep you safe in His obedient service while destiny runs its course.

He will absolve you of blame, and keep you unaffected while it lasts, until it is all over for you and becomes a thing of the past — as night ends with the dawning of the day, and as the chill of winter takes its leave when summer comes around. Here is an example for you, so note the moral well.

Treat your Children Equally

One of the elements of wise upbringing is for the parents to treat all their children equally, and not to favor one of them over the others in any way. The child who feels that he is treated fairly and that he and his brothers are equal, will grow up with a healthy self-esteem, free from feelings of inferiority; he will not hate his brother, or eat his heart out with jealousy, but will be content, tolerant, kind and caring towards others. This is what Islam encourages and orders parents to do.

Bukhari and Muslim narrated from al-Nu’man ibn Bashir:

“My father brought me to the Prophet (pbuh) and said, ‘I have given this son of mine a slave I have.’ The Prophet (pbuh) asked him, ‘Have you given each of your children the same?’ He said, ‘No,’ so the Prophet (pbuh) told him: ‘Then take the slave back.’”

According to another report Nu’man said:

“The Prophet (pbuh) asked, “Have you done the same for all your children?’ (My Father) said, “No,’ so the Prophet (pbuh) said, ‘Fear Allah and treat all of your children equally.’ So my father went and took back his gift.”

According to a third report:

“The Prophet asked, ‘O Bishr, do you have any other children?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ The Prophet (pbuh) asked, ‘Willl you give a similar gift to each of them?’ He said, ‘No.’ So the Prophet said, ‘Do not ask me to witness this, because I do not want to witness unfairness.’ Then he added, ‘Would you not like all of your children to treat you with equal respect?’ [Bishr] said, ‘Of course.’ The Prophet (pbuh) told him: ‘So do not do it.’” (Bukhari and Muslim)

Therefore the Muslim who fears Allah treats all his children with equal fairness, and does not favor one above the other in giving gifts, spending money on him or in the way he treats him. So all of them will pray for him, love him and treat him with kindness and respect.

A Muslim is Humble and Modest

There are a number of hadiths which encourage modesty and humility, reminding those who possess these virtues that as long as they continue to be humble towards one another in obedience to Allah’s command, Allah will raise their status. For example, the Prophet (pbuh) said:

No-one is humble for the sake of Allah, but Allah will raise him in status.” (Muslim)

Allah told me that you should be so humble towards one another that no-one should boast to anyone else and no-one should oppress anyone.” (Muslim)

The Prophet’s (pbuh) life is a practical, living example of humility, gentleness and tolerance. Whenever he passed a group of children playing, his position as Prophet and the great status which Allah had bestowed on him alone did not prevent him from greeting those children, smiling at them and exchanging a few words with them. Anas said that he passed by a group of children and greeted them. He added, “The Prophet (pbuh) used to do that.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

Anas gave another account of the Prophet’s humility: he reported that one of the slave-women of Madinah used to take the Prophet’s hand and lead him wherever she wanted, until he had sorted our her needs. (Bukhari)

Tamim ibn Usayd came to Madinah to ask about the rules of Islam. He was a stranger, but he did not find any barrier or guard between him and the Prophet (pbuh), the first man in the Islamic state, who was on the minbar addressing the people. Tamim came forward to ask some questions, and the Prophet (pbuh) welcomed him with all the warmth, humility and compassion. Tamim tells the story, as was related by Islam Muslim:

I came to the Prophet (pbuh) whilst he was giving a speech. I said, “O Messenger of Allah, a stranger has come to ask about his religion, he does not know what his religion is.’ The Prophet (pbuh) welcomed me, interrupted his speech, and came to me. A chair was brought for him, so he sat down and began to teach me from what Allah had taught him. Then he resumed his speech and finished what he was saying.”

The Prophet (pbuh) used to instill the attitude of humility, based on tolerance, gentleness and a good nature, in the hearts of his Companions. He said

“If I were to be invited to a simple meal of a sheep’s foot or leg, or if I were to be offered this food as a gift, I would accept it” (Bukhari)

This is modesty in its purest form and human greatness of the highest degree.

Upcoming Social Activities

Brother Yasir Ahmed Ibrahim Hamad, from Sudan, will be leaving our community next week to relocated to Virginia to start his medical residency program. Yasir was a very beneficial member of our community and will be missed. In recognition of his services to our community, we are planning on having a pot luck dinner in his honor on Tuesday, June 10th 2008. Everyone is invited to attend and bring a dish.

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